0:45 feels like five o´ clock in the morning although I do not feel tired. Surroundings are disolving, boxes everywhere. 72 hours to go (approx.) Feels as if I'm escaping from Alcatraz. How come I was able to suppress these ideas for so many years? My feelings of relief are absolutely indescribable. Therefore I don' t even try. That should have been done ages ago. A bitter taste to realize that now. Years wasted -- in this respect. Not in others. Thank whoever. It's not about Berlin. It's about 'not Cologne'. It's about 'not Rhineland'. If it where not for the man I came for, I'd never ever should have been in this place anyway. Nevermind the people born and/or raised here. That's a different story. Not mine. I'm fucking glad to go. Wheretoever. Not my tribe. Ever since. Although I tried. Have a good time. Without me. Gone. So gone.